"I eat, therefore I am." (not Descartes)

Has the health-conscious family gone too far?

If copious quantities of organic produce wasn't enough,
If boycotting 98% of hygienic products didn't do the trick,
If getting rid of our microwave didn't make us look, well, different,

My parents and I are on a mission to dispel the toxins that, despite our neurotic habits, have accumulated in mass quantities within our bodies. Sure, we've tried different supplemental approaches. My folks have also gone on an all-juice diet for a short period. But challenges toward healthier lives are rarely turned down, and we'll try almost anything once.

Thanks to Healthy Mouth, Healthy Body by Dr. Victor Zeines, we recently tried a liver flush. Breakfast consists of an invigorating garlic-and-grapefruit smoothie (complete with olive oil, lemon juice, and cayenne pepper) followed by an herbal tea. A couple hours later, imbibe in a cup of fruit or vegetable juice to tie you over until lunch, a poly-chromatic salad. Forget about the dressing though! Top with lemon juice, olive oil, and/or vinegar (add herbs, dulse, or kelp to taste). For afternoon snack, we have slices of tomato covered in alfalfa sprouts. Supper is a smaller salad and steamed vegetables.
Oh how I lived for that steamed vegetable! Never has squash looked so appealing, so delectable, and (so it seemed) so essential to my survival. Were it not for that singular morsel of warmth, I would have certainly given up on the second day. But yay-me, I made it six (though the original plan was fourteen).

I didn't feel any healthier, but many of the foods I once loved suddenly lost their appeal. Even my beloved cheese and delicious homemade bread find their way less frequently onto my plate. Almost by default, my family is making the shift to a gluten-free vegan diet.

For all our healthy readers, any recipe suggestions (soy- and xanthan- free) would be greatly appreciated.  I'll try to share some of our successes, like this week's sweet potato and black bean enchiladas, here on Herbert. In the meantime, happy snacking!

Table for one, please!

Tight schedule. Tight budget.

Creative meal planning is not a skill; it's a lifestyle - one practically everyone is forced into at some point in their lives. Doing it effectively? That's optional.

I had spent a large portion of my childhood helping my mother in the kitchen. But when I showed up in Philadelphia, I hadn't cooked in two years and had never really been in charge. 1400 miles away from home without a cookbook - what's a squirrel to do?

It all started with a free eggplant. Hm. With no parmesan and no zucchini or tomato, my options were limited. BUT I had tomato sauce! *Genius* Now: how to cook it.

"Cut eggplants lengthwise into 1/4 inch slices. Arrange one layer in the bottom of a large colander and sprinkle evenly with salt. Repeat with remaining eggplant, salting, until all eggplant is in the colander. Weigh down the slices with a couple of plates and let drain for 2 hours." I don't think so. It's 5:30, and supper is....right about now.

Plan B: Place whole eggplant on a cookie sheet (use tin foil for easy clean-up), poke it with a fork, and shove it in the oven for 1 hour. Remove eggplant, cut it open, extract guts, and serve with spaghetti sauce.

Voila! Eggplant Pomodori

Honestly, I added too much sauce. And the taste was nothing to write home about, either. But don't let that stop you! With the right combination of spices, it could have been great. I think next time, the eggplant will be pureed into Zuppa Melanzane. Either way, the general concept is a great alternative for both the vegetarian and the gluten-intolerant. Besides, it didn't cost me a thing.

Notes of interest:
1. Eggplant shrinks drastically in the oven. One eggplant = two servings.
2. The skin is bitter. Even when peeled, many chefs recommend adding salt.
3. Raw eggplant contains solanine, which is (apparently) toxic. Heat then serve (so you don't kill anyone).
4. Eggplant comes in a variety of colors: White, Green, Red, and Purple.
5. Like the tomato, the eggplant is a botanical fruit but a culinary vegetable!

College students do the strangest things...

For Matt's birthday, about a dozen BCOM students assembled on the front lawn. After sharing some delicious chocolate cake, a game of Duck, Duck, Goose ensued. Two rounds went by fairly quickly before people began to question the rules of the game. They discussed for a long time, trying out a few different methods before settling on one and demonstrating it for the sake of clarity. A few more rounds were completed successfully before someone would get confused, panic, then (essentially) cheat by either sitting back down without completing a full circuit or by grabbing their opponent and pulling them backward. These people play dirty, but no one seemed to mind. The game lasted for about an hour - as the Dean of Academics looked on in horror from a nearby window.

That's not even the half of it! The next night, eight people skipped to the Back 4 (formerly known as the Back 40) with a small package that somewhat resembled a burger. Curious to know how and why seven people would be sharing a burger, I followed them at a safe distance. The band stopped at the peak of the highest hill, and Allyson held the package above her head. "Ladies and gentleman, this is a cheese wheel. In a few moments, we will roll this cheese down this hill and chase after it. Normally, the person who catches it would win the cheese wheel, but since we are Christians, we will share."

Someone in the back piped up, "Why are we doing this again? I mean, what was the inspiration behind this?" A smile spread across Allyson's face as she explained: "Six years ago, a friend of mine returned from college and told me about the cheese run. Ever since, it has been my goal to do one. This is on my list of top 50 dreams, and you are about to help make my dream come true. We're going to give the cheese a bit of a head start. On my mark, we run!"

Facing the east slope, she drew her hand back and flinging the cheese forward, she yelled, "Go!" Everybody took off, but Cheyanne intercepted the wheel by a landslide (quite literally). Deciding the chase  had been too easy, they agreed on a re-roll on the southern slope. This time, Tim threw. As the cheese wheel bounced across the grass, the wrapper flew off, exposing several shades of mould spores. Most people stopped short, but three kept running, and Kayla emerged the victor.

A Heinous Crime

Something TERRIBLE has happened!

I was attacked.

You see, about a week ago, I thought it would be funny to sneak into the guys' dorm through an open window and scare the cleaning crew. (Don't tell me you wouldn't have taken that opportunity!) Well, my plan backfired and Micah chased me all over that building. When I finally escaped, my heart was racing and I could barely read... I mean, breathe (or think, apparently).

To nurse my wounds, I turned to the one place on campus that gives me comfort: the SRC (for readers who don't know, the SRC is the school library). A few hours later, I awoke from my slumber beneath the couch to utter darkness. Unfortunately, the silence was not quite as 'utter.'

Shallow breaths aside from my own shook the stillness of the room. Then I began laughing to myself. I wasn't the only one who fell asleep, I thought. Gingerly and in higher spirits, I crept forward on the rug toward the emergency exit. If only I had a screwdriver, some olive oil and a sock. My friend Katrina had shown me a sure-fire escape plan for any situation. This time, however, I would need to use the old-fashioned crash bar escape.

As I reached the edge of the rug, my toenails clicked against the wood floor. Stopping for a moment to cringe, I realized the breathing had ceased. Before I could react, the intruder seized my poor tail. That's when I reacted - turning, I sunk my teeth into the arm that held me and flailed my paws wildly. Stunned and slightly distracted from the searing pain recently incurred from my defensive bite, the perpetrator's vice-grip released. Leaping into the darkness ahead, I shot across the library with haste, mounted the other couch, and dove for the crash bar. Caught by the wind, the emergency door flung open, and I tumbled into the freedom of the night air.

I don't know what happened to the guy, but I haven't been back to find out....

*Disclaimer: The SRC is completely safe. There were neither trespassers nor squirrels in the building. No people or animals were harmed during the writing of this blog.

Nature Walk Through the Mind of a Bibliothecary, Pt 2

By Katrina Brooks

Strolling in a lakeside woodland, you encounter a bear and begin singing softly a Native American song, hoping that it makes the bear either run away or give you a hug. A little farther away, you find a box. It is water-damaged and wordless, the tape likely washed off by the tide or stolen by a small animal. It's so dark, you can barely discern the contents. It's...CANDY! From the Philippines! Fell from a plane! 

You continue walking and find a cup. It is a paper cup that read, United Airlines, crumpled up and half-buried in leaves. It's just trash. You found a piece of trash, that's it! A short distance away lies a key. It is an antique skeleton key from the 1800s. It’s bronze, but not shiny bronze because it’s old and been in the woods. 

You continue walking and meet a man. Tall. Wavy, brown hair. He looks kinda like a lumberjack.... let's just go with that. Well, he has an axe over his shoulder, so his quest might have to do with chopping something, but you haven't asked him yet. Do you continue with the man, or meet the woman approaching from behind him? ... Well, the woman looks like a witch, so probably the man.... Wait - you don't like either of these options. You turn into a faerie and fly away. Your wings are shimmery green, but kind of transparent-y green, like dragonfly wings. You fly to your home, which is in a lilac bush. You're not a tree faerie; you're a bush faerie. You are visited by a robin named Roberta. The two of you discuss the weather and whether the fish are swimming south yet.

Your story ends with a song.

Nature Walk Through the Mind of a Bibliothecary, Pt 1

By Ashley Thedford

Walking along a mountain river at sunrise, you encounter a bear. What do you do? Perhaps make yourself bigger than the bear? That doesn't make sense; bears are huge. You stand there and have a stare-down with the bear, calling to the Saviour: "Oh, Jesus! Oh, Jesus!"

You continue along the river bank and find a key. It is very old. An antique. Silverish. A little farther down the path, you find a cup - a McDonald's cup, to be exact. But wait! It changes before your very eyes into a tin cup with a hole in the bottom. After attempting for several minutes to drink from the mountain river, you continue until you find a box. It is an old chest with a name stamped on the top. The contents of the box are clothing, pots and pans, and a book.

A short distance away, a craft floats on the river. It is made of felled pine trees tied together with string. Aboard the craft is a man, a shipwrecked captain, whose clothing is not exactly pressed, if you know what I mean. You consider boarding the craft but notice a woman approaching. Do you continue with the shipwrecked captain or meet the woman? She looks like an apparition, so it probably wouldn't be wise to go with either of them. But how do you escape? The apparition overtakes the captain, and you commandeer his craft - Haha!

Before reaching the end of the river, the craft below you begins to sink, and you are rescued by salmon. You continue on foot until the river comes to a halt in front of a boarded-up, two-story log cabin, where you are visited by Freemasonry treasure hunters - not Freemasons hunting for treasure, but hunters on a quest specifically to find Freemasonry treasures. After they leave, you discover a cellar filled with the treasure they sought, but you do call them back.

The Same Spirit Which Dwelleth In Me

It's the beginning of a new year, and it didn't come alone. The fifteen new BCOM students arrived and enrolled on Tuesday. The Bethany family also welcomed twenty-five students from Rivendell Sanctuary.

As the mingling ensued, I was struck by the air of familiarity which surrounded these people who, until a few days ago, had been strangers. Why do these people remind me of someone else I know?! Why do I feel as though we've been friends before?

The answer is simple. It's the reflection of Jesus that I was recognizing, and the Spirit which dwells inside of them. They have the same Father; it's natural, after all, for family members to resemble each other.

I'm always amazed how the Lord draws His people together, breaking down social barriers and making us into one large community: His Church.